What Fresh Hell Is This?

I’m not Hispanic, I’m not Fernando (a friend who was recently deported), and I’m not subject to deportation, for now. But I wonder if Fernando being sent back to El Salvador is still the best possible outcome. Let’s pretend that he was allowed to stay in the U.S. What would life have been like for Fernando? He’d become a shell of his former self, afraid to be out in public, constantly worrying that he’d be snatched and disappeared again. He would have to rethink every activity in terms of potential risk to himself and anyone who might be with him. He would have to accept that he’s living in a country where the government and the people (at least 50% of them), hate him.

I think of the first prisoners in the Dachau concentration camp in 1933. They were political prisoners and others that irritated the Nazi government. Eventually they were released. Some had self-deported (a phrase used by Presidential candidate Mitt Romney), while others remained in the shadows of Nazified Germany. Those early prisoners were not foreigners. The majority were German citizens but were considered by the Nazis to be inconveniences, useless eaters, people not worthy of life.

I think that if Fernando were released and allowed to stay in the United States, he would forever have to live in the shadows. I’m not sure which hell is worse. Being separated from your U.S. family and sent to your country of origin, or remaining in the U.S. while always being on alert and always afraid.

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